In the January Issue:
If you are like most high achievers I work with, the chances are you are a great problem solver, an analytical thinker, and absolutely love working through something until you find the answer!
However, you might also realize that some of the problems you are trying to work through, are not going away, no matter how much you focus on them.
You see, here is the thing, as Einstein said, 'You cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it.'- Albert Einstein
You too, might find yourself making the two most common mistakes most people make when trying to solve a problem.
1. Looking at the problem from the wrong place.
Imagine for a moment you are looking out of the window of a ground floor flat. What do you see? The street you live in, perhaps a car or two, few people walking by, and the building that is right in front of you, and that’s about it. Everything will look so big, even overwhelming, you might think. If you keep looking out from the same window, then you will continue to see the same view (see below).
Now imagine, you go on top of that building. Right to the top, say 50th floor. Now what do you see? The sky, a lot more buildings close and far, few streets ahead. The cars, the people and anything else on the ground will now seem so much smaller, and everything else that looked so big before will be tiny and insignificant.
You are now realising how this is easily done and how this could be your main downfall, are you not?
2. Trying to fix the symptoms instead of the problem (I am sure you will relate to this)
Most people try and fix the problem by treating the symptoms. Take for example, if you have a headache, you take a pill, and it goes away. The next day, you have another headache, you take another pill, and it goes away.
By the third day you finally start to wonder, ‘why do I keep getting headaches?’ and start noticing the circumstances/patterns that are repeated before you have the headache.
It is then, and only then, that the headaches stop coming back, because you found the reason for having the headache and dealt with the cause (solved the right problem).
Simple and obvious, right?
Listen, the same applies to your inner peace and happiness.
You will not find peace and happiness on the inside, by constantly looking for them outside of you, based on your circumstances, because the circumstances will always change.
Likewise, you will not find fulfilment by constantly going from one job title / project / achievement to another, whilst deep down believing you are not worthy of it!
So, it is also obvious by now, that to solve the worthiness problem, some things need to change!
Because what got you here, won't get you there!
You might be thinking: ‘Change isn’t easy' (Compared to what?)
Looking deeper into yourself,
Digging into what’s not working in your life and why. Thinking about what you truly want
Isn’t easy!
You might argue it’ll be a struggle, as it requires self-discipline, consistency and self-integrity.
BUT it will be worth it in the end.
‘How do I do that?’ I hear you ask…
You see, everything is relative. Would you rather push through the challenge (for a short time) of looking deeper into yourself and becoming aware of what is holding you back…?
Or
Keep struggling and living in overwhelm with every changing condition (not qualified enough, not ready yet, too old to go for what I want…) and circumstances (new job, new boss, grumpy kids…)?
Both can be hard… and only you get to choose which hard you are willing to live with!
Yes, the change will take time and it will (for a short time) need you to :
- BE a different person than you have been;
- THINK differently to you have done before and
- DO the things that may well be uncomfortable for a while...
Here are three things you can do today:
Get clear on what you want and WHY you want it.
If you are thinking, ‘I don’t know what I want’ then that’s a good thing, because this means you are crystal clear on what you DON’T want! So, stay on this question a little longer!
Get clear on what is MOST important to you
Regardless of what everyone else thinks or says to you. Because when you are clear on this, making decisions will be so much easier.
Challenge your beliefs and let go of the ones that no longer serve you
You see, just because you believe something, it doesn’t mean it is true. Most things you believe are thoughts, opinions and habits of others (mainly your parents’) you accepted as truths without questioning. So, sit and challenge your beliefs and think if they are actually true.
As a result, you will start to
- See possibilities and stop fighting for your limitations
- Live in true abundance - of love, joy, calmness, inner peace, money, friends and anything else your heart desires.
- Create an impact and finally find the fulfilment you have been seeking.
Now, go climb to the top of the highest building you can find and look around you as far as you can see.
MEET TÜLAY MASSEY
FOUNDER OF TULAY MASSEY COACHING AND THE CREATOR OF THE SERENITY METHODTM
She dedicated her life to helping time-poor high achieving professional women bring balance, purpose and joy back into their lives and be present to what is most important to them.
She knows what it feels like to live in Chaos, and to have finally found Serenity.
She spent 18+ years as a corporate professional in an FMCG setting. She has over 12 years of experience in training, coaching and developing people. She now combines this with her NLP and Life Coaching Training with top transformational coaches in the World to create transformations in professional women.
In the past 4 years, she has been able to help high achieving professional women re-ignite the passion and purpose in their life, so they have more time and energy to do what brings them joy and finally find the fulfillment they have been seeking.
She is dedicated to teaching every woman in her circle to step into their power and live a purposeful life, not because someone else approves it, but because it makes them happy.
She helps her clients to do this in an intimate 1:1 setting by teaching them to learn and Master the Serenity Principles for Life using her unique and proven Method - Serenity MethodTM.
Connect with Tülay HERE!
